White Wedding

If you'll indulge me a personal rant. This relates to the Sharks at some point, trust me.

Here's a little tip for you young couples about to tie the knot: when scheduling the date of your wedding, try to consider the comfort and convenience of your guests. Wedding season traditionally lasts from early spring to late summer, when new life springs abundant and reminds all of the precious and beautiful nature of love.

What you should NOT do is schedule your wedding in the middle of FUCKING DECEMBER in COLUMBUS FUCKING OHIO.

Kill me now.

That’s right; I’ll be leaving sunny San Jose in the middle of hockey season to see my cousin get married off in the birthplace of desolation – central Ohio. Apparently my mom’s side of the family never got the message to get the fuck out of there as soon as you can, let alone, don’t get married when a guest might crack his head open on black ice. At least I’ll already be dressed for my own funeral.

Still, I always try to look at the bright side of life, a.k.a. Sharks hockey. And wouldn’t you know it? The San Jose Sharks have to spend the middle of December in Columbus too! Oh, except they play the Blue Jackets two days after I leave. Two effing days. I’d almost consider sticking around, except its Columbus in December. I’m getting the fuck out.

Sometimes there’s a silver lining to gray clouds. But mostly those gray clouds just dump 10 inches of snow on your wedding guests.

Sharks Hit Scheduling Jackpot, End Must Be Nigh

I'm actually digging this staggered schedule release. We get 2 days of hockey news in July!

Today we learned the Sharks season opener will be at home vs. Anaheim on October 9th. Now I'm not saying our home openers usually suck just because they're 2 weeks into the season...
or against the lowly Blues...
or against the lowly Blue Jackets...
or "postponed"... (Ed: HA!)
or ended in a scoreless tie...
or involve losing to Detroit...
or involve losing to Detroit...
or involve losing to the Blues...

And so on. What I'm saying is our home openers always suck. In fact, I can't even find the last time San Jose defeated a playoff team from the previous year in the home opener (hockeynut.com). Let's break the streak. Better schedule a vacation day for October 10th now.

Also announced, San Jose will play Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Tampa Bay twice this season (along with every other Eastern Conference team once). So we'll definitely see both Eastern Conference finalists in our building, along with Dan Boyle's former team/Matt Carle's current team. Couldn't have asked for much better. Kudos, NHL schedulers!

Vacation's Over

Sorry about the hiatus, Sharks fans. Not much NHL action + furious trades on July 4th + another long stretch of no NHL action = blogging disinterest.

First, finally, a post on the defensive overhaul:

Overhaul is the only way to put it. San Jose swapped out Matt Carle and Craig Rivet for Dan Boyle, Rob Blake, and Brad Lukowich in a whirlwind of activity on Independence Day. Some proclaimed the Sharks the biggest free agent session winners; others forecast much doom and gnashing of teeth. Even the Sharks own website shows the apparent bipolar nature of this topic:

Best blueline ever? Or exactly the same as last year? There’s no other option available?

How about this radical notion: I have no fucking clue what’s going to happen. No idea. Two of San Jose’s defensemen haven’t played in the Western Conference in at least 5 years, three are new to San Jose, and every one of them has a brand new head coach and coaching staff.

If Boyle and Blake start launching bombs from the blueline and Vlasic matures into a top tier defender, we could be in for something special. If Boyle and Blake combine for another -48 and the young guys regress, well, we’re totally screwed. Both scenarios seem plausible enough.

Sure, I’ll probably lose my blogging credential for not going off on a vitriolic rant, but that’s ok, they’re pretty easy to get.

Ugh

Fucking dynasty bullshit. The NHL better schedule Red Wings-Penguins in Pittsburgh next year. Thank you, revised scheduling.

And we have to deal with this douchebag 6 times a year?

Wake me up for 09-10.

Brian Campbell Got Paid

Sources report Brian Campbell has signed an 8 year, $56.8M contract with the Chicago Blackhawks.

Well, another July 1st, and another year that Doug Wilson brings a knife to a gun fight. $7.1M per season seemed to be about fitting with recent rumors, but my god, 8 years!? No way Doug Wilson signs a contract that stupid. Had Campbell signed with San Jose, the $7.1M per he's getting would put him just behind former NHL Hart and Art Ross Trophy winner Joe Thornton ($7.2) and also put him under contract until just after the nuclear holocaust, or BART coming to the South Bay. DO NOT WANT.

Good for Campbell, though. He got a truckload of money and will be closer to his family in Ottawa (Chicago to Ottawa is about the same distance as San Jose to Phoenix).

For San Jose, this means more precious cap space with which to sit on and do nothing. Speculation has centered on Wade Redden thus far, but I really have to doubt San Jose's ability to sign any big name free agent. (Edit: Yup) Contracts like Campbell's are just not in San Jose's range. I guess we're stuck drafting undervalued talent and honing them into contenders at a fraction of the cost. Woe is me.

Chicago, on the other hand, just got real scary. Two years ago they were a punching bag. Last year they were an improving and dangerous lot. This year they're a playoff team. Buy your tickets to see Kane, Toews, and Campbell now.

3rd Is The Worst

The NHL Entry Draft was about as boring as you think it was. The Sharks made no moves on the first day, and made moves for guys you've never heard of the second day.

Notably, and I use that word generously, San Jose moved up to the first pick of the 3rd round to draft 19-year old center Justin Daniels. Daniels tips the scales at 6'1", 156 lbs. I don't know how these twigs can turn into professional hockey players in the matter of a few years. My first drivers license had me at 6'2", 135, and I could barely walk into a stiff breeze without getting knocked on my ass. How anyone can play hockey with just 20 more pounds is beyond me.

Regardless, I was interested to see the recent history of San Jose's 3rd round picks. Lo and behold, it doesn't exist. Here's the history of San Jose's round 3, via hockeydb.com, from 1998 to 2007:

1998 - Eric Laplante - 0 NHL games played
1999 - Mark Concannon - 0 NHL games played
2002 - Jonas Fiedler - 0 NHL games played
2007 - Tyson Sexsmith - N/A
2007 - Timo Pielmeier - N/A

Not exactly a bumper crop of talent.

The history of the #62 pick has been a little more fruitful. Over that same time period, you might recognize names like New Jersey's Paul Martin (#62 in 2000, played 305 games over the last 3 seasons), St. Louis's David Backes (2003, 121 games played), or Pittsburgh's Kristopher Letang (2005, 63 games last season).

Getting new players is always fun, but don't hold you breath for Justin Daniels yet.

The Phantom Shove

The NHL Board of Governors voted yesterday to "amend" the icing rules by doing pretty much nothing at all:

A change to Rule 81.1 ("Icing") states that "Any contact between opposing players while pursuing the puck on an icing must be for the sole purpose of playing the puck and not for eliminating the opponent from playing the puck. Unnecessary or dangerous contact could result in penalties being assessed to the offending player."

Breathtaking. So, if you "eliminate the opponent from playing the puck", that's a penalty? That's called interference you jackasses. Remember, you said you were going to start calling it a couple of years ago? Forgot already?

Besides, that amendment is like putting a wig on a Chris Pronger turd. The only way to protect the NHL's players is no-touch icing, and that's that.

This rule was largely brought up because of the Kurtis Foster - Torrey Mitchell incident from a few months back. Check it out:



Unfortunate accident. Mitchell was really shaken up after it - he's not a dirty player. So then why did Greg Wyshynski call it a "shove"?

Watching it again, it sure does look bad. Mitchell's arms are up and he make a distinct shoving motion. Foster collapses like a rag doll, Torrey gets sent to the sin bin for tripping, and no one wins in this situation.

But look closer. Both Foster and Mitchell break full speed for the puck. Foster has the inside track so he gets there first, but we all know Mitchell is a cannonball, so he's got loads of speed after just a short charge. So we've got Foster at full speed getting to the puck (and boards) first, with Mitchell accelerating even faster to the same location. Mitchell realizes he can't make it there in time, so he gets his hands up to buffer the coming impact with Foster.

Things go awry when the two meet up. Mitchell's right skate accidentally catches Foster's right skate. This causes Foster to go down, Mitchell's hands to go forward, and we all know what happens from there.

Did Mitchell deserve 2 for tripping? Yes. It wasn't intentional but he did take out his skates. Was it a dirty play? No. An accidental trip from a clean player just makes more sense than a vicious shove from behind in this case. Save your pitchforks and torches for Pronger or Bertuzzi.