An Insult to the Eyes

I simply refuse to believe that someone, anyone, in the Sharks department looked at these and said, "OK".

The Sharks' Jersey Designer, hard at work.

This thing is an abomination. If it was a child, I would throw it in a dumpster to save it a life of shame. The next time I go camping, I'll tell a creeeeeeeepy story about the jersey that went to sleep looking slick and intimidating - then woke up, COVERED IN ORANGE!!!! The horror!


The updated logo was a bit jarring, but marginally acceptable. The image above, released on Monday was shocking and insulting. But actually seeing these jerseys on players was worse than I could have possibly imagined.

Image borrowed liberally from Sharkspage

Where to begin?

• It's so busy! Do we really need the player's number on both sleeves, the back, and the front breast? So the captains will have an additional patch? Where?
  
• Continuing the trend of unnecessary excess, what's the point of having a shoulder patch look exactly the same as the main logo? Why was there an updated "fin" logo if we're not going to use it where it should obviously go?
  
• I absolutely despise the black splotch on the shoulders. It looks like there's a fucking propeller around the neck.
• You can barely see it on Grier in the above pic, but the numbers on the back look especially hideous with the orange piping.
• The teals above look bad, but nowhere near as awful as the whites. Again, look at Grier above. So white jerseys, white socks, orange and teal piping, with black pants?
• I just noticed the arbitrary patch on the shorts. I'm apparently still finding things to dislike about the new uniform.

The worst thing I can say about the jerseys is this: Some part of me does not want the Sharks to win the Cup this year, because they would be immortalized wearing this garbage. Please change this shit, Sharks, and stop embarrassing us.