"Hi, I'm the hottest piece of ass on the planet, and I just dumped my douchebag boyfriend"
It's Christmas in August! Elisha Cuthbert, whose abs have been known to make grown men weep for joy, has FINALLY dumped this embarrassment to evolution:
Though shit, Sean. That's what you get for being the most hated player in the NHL. I wouldn't worry about it though. With your winning personality, you could probably get any starlet in Hollyw... oh... nevermind.
Regardless, the real story here is that I'm 6'2" with an "athletic" frame. I'm a die-hard hockey fan and have actually been to Canada! Remember when we met at WonderCon 2005? You were the ultra-cute, ultra-sexy pixie that smiled and waved at me? I was the unshowered nerd, standing next in a crowd of 200 other unshowered nerds? I knew you would!
Anyways, if you want to hook up some time, no big deal. Just leave a comment below ONLY IF YOU ARE A DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS CANADIAN HOCKEY PRINCESS WHOSE PERFECTION CANNOT BE CONTAINED BY TIME AND SPACE.