New All-Star Skills Competition

I didn’t write anything about the All Star Game because a) the game is pointless and needs some incentives so the players actually compete, and b) I didn’t watch it.

The All Star Game is hard to watch because while Joe Shmoe casual hockey fan might like to see 13-10 scores, the rest of us can enjoy those little things called goaltending, defense, fighting, and hitting. I know, people watch hockey because there’s fights and checks, crazy.

So let’s bring some of that goodness back to the ASG festivities – let’s introduce the Hardest Check skill competition.

Get 3-4 of the biggest, fastest D-Men in the game, and have them go to town in 3 different competitions – checking into the boards, open ice, and the celebrity judging contest

It would be easy to set up a crash test dummy, and measure the force of each impact. You’d have a meter on the right hand side giving a comparison for viewers at home – Scott Stevens hits equivalent to an F150 going 25 mph, Martin St. Louis hits like a stiff breeze or getting licked by a kitten.

And since no All Star Game is complete without celebrity crossovers, we’ll get the Jackass guys to suit up and get laid out. A panel of judges will give scores based on style and pain inflicted.

Would you watch this? Would you like to see Big Mac lay out Bam Margera?