State of the Sharks

Tomorrow night the Sharks are hosting a "State of the Sharks" open forum. As I recall, last year's forum was canceled on account of having nothing to talk about - no new coach and no new players. This year the theme will be lots to talk about and nothing to say.

Here's the only 5 viable questions and how Sharks brass will clearly address legitimate fan concerns sidestep each:

1. What are you going to do about the coaching vacancy?

We can't discuss the ongoing coaching search.

2. What are you going to do about the restricted and unrestricted free agents?

We can't discuss the ongoing contract negotiations.

3. What are you going to do about players currently under contract?

We can't discuss the status of potential trades.

4. Are you going to spend money like an actual NHL franchise or like my grandma sending me a $10 check for my birthday?

Grandmama.

5. So if you're not going to spend any more money, why did ticket prices just go up 10%?

Thanks for coming.

/leans into microphone

Go f@#$ yourselves.

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I can't wait to waste an hour of my life tomorrow. If you've got a question for Greg Jamison, Doug Wilson, or Jonathan Cheechoo(?) and don't have the time to get smoke blown up your ass, leave it in the comments. I'll do my best to get a legit answer.