Wednesday, October 22, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: Sharks Form New Partnership With Sponsors, Break Old Partnership With Fans

SAN JOSE, CA - The San Jose Sharks have announced a new line of equipment that will undoubtedly appeal to fans of the team and of shameless corporate cross-promotion. Currently, visitors to the HP Pavilion see advertisements on concourse billboards, on every in-game LCD screen, during every commercial break promotion, and on 2/3rds of the ice surface. Silicon Valley Sports & Entertainment was understandably thrilled when they figured out an all-new way to intrusively cram more product placement down the throats of paying customers.

In addition to the recently announced Seagate BlackArmor third jersey, the team will soon unveil:

  • Osh Hardware LumberSticks
  • Tap Plastics UnbreakaBoards
  • Durex 98% Effective Protective Helmets
  • Dr. Berkowitz Female Cosmetic Enhancement Left & Right Face-off Circles
"We are thrilled about this promotion," stated Seagate Technology's VP of Marketing Saul Thomas. "What a wonderful opportunity to capture the public's excitement about unveiling a brand-new jersey, then choking that joy right out of them by slapping our corporate logo on it."