3rd Is The Worst

The NHL Entry Draft was about as boring as you think it was. The Sharks made no moves on the first day, and made moves for guys you've never heard of the second day.

Notably, and I use that word generously, San Jose moved up to the first pick of the 3rd round to draft 19-year old center Justin Daniels. Daniels tips the scales at 6'1", 156 lbs. I don't know how these twigs can turn into professional hockey players in the matter of a few years. My first drivers license had me at 6'2", 135, and I could barely walk into a stiff breeze without getting knocked on my ass. How anyone can play hockey with just 20 more pounds is beyond me.

Regardless, I was interested to see the recent history of San Jose's 3rd round picks. Lo and behold, it doesn't exist. Here's the history of San Jose's round 3, via hockeydb.com, from 1998 to 2007:

1998 - Eric Laplante - 0 NHL games played
1999 - Mark Concannon - 0 NHL games played
2002 - Jonas Fiedler - 0 NHL games played
2007 - Tyson Sexsmith - N/A
2007 - Timo Pielmeier - N/A

Not exactly a bumper crop of talent.

The history of the #62 pick has been a little more fruitful. Over that same time period, you might recognize names like New Jersey's Paul Martin (#62 in 2000, played 305 games over the last 3 seasons), St. Louis's David Backes (2003, 121 games played), or Pittsburgh's Kristopher Letang (2005, 63 games last season).

Getting new players is always fun, but don't hold you breath for Justin Daniels yet.

The Phantom Shove

The NHL Board of Governors voted yesterday to "amend" the icing rules by doing pretty much nothing at all:

A change to Rule 81.1 ("Icing") states that "Any contact between opposing players while pursuing the puck on an icing must be for the sole purpose of playing the puck and not for eliminating the opponent from playing the puck. Unnecessary or dangerous contact could result in penalties being assessed to the offending player."

Breathtaking. So, if you "eliminate the opponent from playing the puck", that's a penalty? That's called interference you jackasses. Remember, you said you were going to start calling it a couple of years ago? Forgot already?

Besides, that amendment is like putting a wig on a Chris Pronger turd. The only way to protect the NHL's players is no-touch icing, and that's that.

This rule was largely brought up because of the Kurtis Foster - Torrey Mitchell incident from a few months back. Check it out:



Unfortunate accident. Mitchell was really shaken up after it - he's not a dirty player. So then why did Greg Wyshynski call it a "shove"?

Watching it again, it sure does look bad. Mitchell's arms are up and he make a distinct shoving motion. Foster collapses like a rag doll, Torrey gets sent to the sin bin for tripping, and no one wins in this situation.

But look closer. Both Foster and Mitchell break full speed for the puck. Foster has the inside track so he gets there first, but we all know Mitchell is a cannonball, so he's got loads of speed after just a short charge. So we've got Foster at full speed getting to the puck (and boards) first, with Mitchell accelerating even faster to the same location. Mitchell realizes he can't make it there in time, so he gets his hands up to buffer the coming impact with Foster.

Things go awry when the two meet up. Mitchell's right skate accidentally catches Foster's right skate. This causes Foster to go down, Mitchell's hands to go forward, and we all know what happens from there.

Did Mitchell deserve 2 for tripping? Yes. It wasn't intentional but he did take out his skates. Was it a dirty play? No. An accidental trip from a clean player just makes more sense than a vicious shove from behind in this case. Save your pitchforks and torches for Pronger or Bertuzzi.

Simply The Best

Maybe it's just me, but does our new skipper remind you of anyone?

= ???

That's right! Wernham Hogg's own Regional Manager, David Brent! How about some motivational words for the boys:

Todd McLellan Hired As Head Coach

He looks optimistic

Todd McLellan will be announced as the new head coach for the San Jose Sharks tomorrow morning. McLellan most recently served as assistant coach of the Stanley Cup-winning Detroit Red Wings. He also had success in the minor leagues, capturing the AHL championship in 2003 with the Houston Aeros. Read more fluff here.

Uh, sure, why not. He's won a Cup, so at least he'll have some cool stories to tell. Maybe he can spend his day with the trophy here in SJ and show it off like pictures of a hot ex-girlfriend. "Yeah, I had that once. I made it aaaaaaaaaall the way to the 4th round with that one. What? You've only made it to the second round? You gay or something?"

Update: That's right folks, you're reading Onion-quality writing here at the Bucket.

In related news, maybe I can now justify buying some Aeros gear. Fuck me if this isn't the coolest logo in sports:

Detroit Wins The Stanley Cup

Congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings for your unbelievable, emotionally charged championship victory! No one ever believed in you!

Seriously though, good job ruining another hockey season. Your unstoppable juggernaut left little things like competition, parity, and hope in its wake.

Detroit fans, you must be on top of the world. Enjoy your moment in the spotlight. You must already be looking forward to the Yankees winning the World Series, an old white man becoming the next president, and with any luck, the return of the Holy Roman Empire.

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Silence

To bring you a Great White annihilating a poor little seal:

See more here.

Fucking awesome. Oh, and last night's Stanley Cup game was long, Ron Wilson might coach the Leafs, and Patrick Marleau might get traded. So, same old same old.