Here's a little tip for you young couples about to tie the knot: when scheduling the date of your wedding, try to consider the comfort and convenience of your guests. Wedding season traditionally lasts from early spring to late summer, when new life springs abundant and reminds all of the precious and beautiful nature of love.
What you should NOT do is schedule your wedding in the middle of FUCKING DECEMBER in COLUMBUS FUCKING OHIO.
That’s right; I’ll be leaving sunny San Jose in the middle of hockey season to see my cousin get married off in the birthplace of desolation – central Ohio. Apparently my mom’s side of the family never got the message to get the fuck out of there as soon as you can, let alone, don’t get married when a guest might crack his head open on black ice. At least I’ll already be dressed for my own funeral.
Still, I always try to look at the bright side of life, a.k.a. Sharks hockey. And wouldn’t you know it? The San Jose Sharks have to spend the middle of December in Columbus too! Oh, except they play the Blue Jackets two days after I leave. Two effing days. I’d almost consider sticking around, except its Columbus in December. I’m getting the fuck out.
Sometimes there’s a silver lining to gray clouds. But mostly those gray clouds just dump 10 inches of snow on your wedding guests.