I'm Gonna Eat Airheads Til I Puke!

If you're not reading Torrey Mitchell's ongoing blog at the Sharks Website, you're missing out in so many ways. The blog is equal parts facsinating, voyeuristic, and childish, with a heaping dose of guy love between roommates Mitchell and Setoguchi.

Example A:

I gave Seto grief about my flip-flops last week and I think he felt guilty. He cooked lasagna this week and brought it to me in bed. He hasn’t cleaned the dishes yet though. He did leave and get me ice cream the other night. It was actually a milkshake and exactly what I wanted.

Okay that sounds pretty bad. But it was this nugget from WTC that brought the Gooch-Notorious relationship completely into focus:

After dinner, a sizable chunk of the crowd headed to the apartment that Devin Setoguchi and Torrey Mitchell share for a video soccer showdown between Mitchell and Milan Michalek. Let’s just say things broke down along Euro vs. North American lines and let it go at that.

A ha! Mitchell & Gooch aren't bromosexuals; they're 12 year old kids at a sleepover! They down way too much pizza & ice cream, watch slasher flicks, and stay up until 2 am playing Halo. When Milan comes over they bust in FIFA Soccer for Playstation; when Cheechoo comes over its couch cushion fort time! Roenick's like the cool dad that lets the kids try their first beer.

When I grow up, I want to be a hockey player!

Once You Go Black

The Sharks debuted their new black 3rd jerseys Saturday night. As a long-time fan of ice aesthetics and ARDENT critic of the orange-and-teal abominations, I greatly anticipated/dreaded the unveiling.

I'm glad to say, these sweaters are abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous.

• It's hard to fuck up black but the lack of any unnecessary piping, patches, or other bells-and-whistles gives the jersey a sleek, intimidating look.
• There were some ugly rumors of vertical neck-to-waist teal piping on the back of the sweater (kind of like the Caps vertical stripe in the above pic). Good to see those rumors were unfounded. No vertical striping here.
• The arm & sock horizontal bands are perfect. A simple white & teal look is all it needed.
• The old school neck tie-up thing is an total jean creamer. I've been infatuated with those since they started making a comeback. So much so I wanted to convert into a Bruins fan. Thank God we avoided that.
• Nice use of the full-body Shark logo. Not an earth-shattering change, yet not the same old same old.
  
• And of course, the number one reason to love these sweaters - NO. ORANGE.

On the nitpicky front, I still think the jersey is too busy with shoulder patches and shoulder numbers, as well as the number on the front breast. But don't let that deter you from buying one for your favorite Sharks blogger this Christmas!

Well Then

Looks like that last Sharks e-mail was a bigger embarrassment than even I thought:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/mar/919370760.html

The Usual Suspects

I'd post something about last night's game but I stopped paying attention after 20 minutes. That's about 16 minutes longer than Kipper.

But then I received this gem in my inbox:


Fuck the Sharks Party, this looks like the Sexual Predator Party - and I'm NEVER going to one of those again. Are we voting for the All-Star Game or rounding up a posse to apprehend the James Gang?

These are the best portraits Sharks marketing could get?

• Patty's the most normal but looks like Kurt Angle with hair.
  
• Nabokov just stepped out of GTA IV. Since when does he have a flavor saver?
• Boyle's is close to halfway-normal but for some reason reminds me of the Mayor from Nightmare Before Christmas.
  
• Thornton looks like a Lord of the Rings elf with a jewfro who just took 3 bong rips.
  

And then there's Rob Blake. How bad does marketing hate you that they ever released this drawing? He looks like the molester of other child molesters. Is his Adam's Apple actually an Adam's Banana?

Thank god this marketing department supplies an endless well of jokes.

ZOMG LOSING STREAK OH NOES!!!1!!

Eh, not really.

It sucks to drop 2 in a row, but it's going happen over the course of a season. Even without Nabokov, Cheechoo, and Boyle in the lineup, San Jose put up a solid effort and peppered Dan Ellis with 57 shots. The score should have been 6-3 Sharks.

In more uplifting news, the GOOCH '09 Campaign rolls on! 2 goals and 1 assist push him tied for 6th in points and 4th in goals.

In Other NHL Action...

Holy shit, did anyone catch the Pittsburgh-Detroit game on Versus just now? What a game - Spoiler Alert!

I tuned in with the Pens down 4-2, which quickly became 5-2. The teams traded goals until it was 6-4 Detroit with 4 minutes left. Pittsburgh managed to rally and tie it with 23 seconds left on Jordan Staal's 3rd goal of the game.

In OT, Detroit managed to kill 2 minutes of 4-on-3 led by Crosby, Malkin, and Staal. The game looked headed to OT when Staal beautifully picked Pavel Datsyuk's pocket, turned into a 2-on-1, and fed it across to Fedotenko who fired an absolute LASER over Chris Osgood's shoulder and into the net. 7-6 Penguins victory.

I despise every non-seafaring predator team in the NHL, but that was a HELL of a game. Not to mention Pittsburgh stole a point from Detroit - that's always a nice cherry on top.

On Larionov

Big ups to Igor Larionov, the first San Jose Shark to be inducted into the Hockey Hall Of Fame. You can read some great Larionov stories on WTC. Be sure to check out the comments section.

One of my first hockey memories was a beautiful drop pass from Larionov to Makarov near the top of the zone. Larionov entered the zone with speed then, all of a sudden, just left the puck sitting there. Not a second later did Makarov skate from out of nowhere to drill the puck from 40 feet out into the back of the net.

I have no idea who the opposing team was or if it was the first or thousandth time they had run that play. All I remember was thinking:

1. That was a hell of a pass, and
2. Hockey fucking rules!

Igor, thank you for the memories, and thank you for showing us all that hockey fucking rules.

Riddle Me This

How was November 6th's 5-4 overtime squeaker win vs. St. Louis like October 30th's 4-2 dismantling of Detroit?

The refs wouldn't get out of the fucking way.

I went to the game last night and saw a pretty crappy game from our boys, a one-man army in Clowe, and my heart sieze up watching Nabby limp off the ice. What I did not see was Michalek closing his hand on the puck, Cheechoo hooking, or Ehrhoff holding. Consistency in your whistles is fine, but not when every one of those whistles is a phantom or make-up call.

Plihal Sighting

A friend just e-mailed me that Thomas Plihal moved into her apartment complex. If she wants to meet him she should go to her building's neutral zone where he'll be skating around aimlessly.

Vote Gooch '09

Battle of California is easily my least favorite "Sharks Blog", and I use that phrase very loosely. The site focuses entirely too much on teams I could give a shit about - Anaheim and Los Angeles. Also they don't link to the Bucket.

Update: The BoC crew was cool enough to link me in their Sharks Blogroll, and I have done so likewise. They are off my shit list, even though they still write too much about the Ducks. New least-favorite Sharks Blog? Fear The Fin. I'm going to roll this steamroller over everyone at some point.

Regardless, they've started an admirable campaign - Vote Setoguchi '09. Setoguchi, despite his team-leading 12 points on the best team in the NHL, was snubbed from the All-Star ballot.

A quick aside: Why the NHL has to jam these ballots out the door 13 games into the season is beyond me. It's the year 2008, Bettman; we have access to a series of tubes. Release the ballot a month in advance and have internet- and cell phone-only voting. Fucking NHL morons.

Battle of California must be distracted by all their Pronger felatio because they can't even the player-in-question's nickname right. Anyone that calls him "Seto" deserves to get their sack ripped off by rabid dogs. His name is "Gooch" and the reason is simple, as commenter RudyKelley points out: "If you have the opportunity to yell 'Gooch!' in a public place, you should take it." Truer words were never spoken.

So vote Gooch in '09. And punch anyone that calls him Seto right in the gooch.

Quick Thoughts on Sharks vs. Avalanche

I started freaking out about this game after cantstopthegrier's demonstrated how easily this could be a trap game - a one-shot road game after 2 emotional home games and Minnesota coming into town next. Nice to see the team step up in an exciting and demanding road game vs. a team that wouldn't go away.

GO SHAHKS