Annual Plea for an All-Star Hardest Hit Competition

As usual, the NHL brass have their priorities in all the wrong places. As I bitched about last year, the weekend is about 1 thing - scoring. Screw defense, screw goaltending, screw fighting. Apparently all the casual fan cares about are big, gaudy, crooked numbers on the scoreboard. Look, here's the entire All-Star Weekend:

• Hardest Shot
• Fastest Skater
• Accurate Shot
• YoungStars Competition
• Breakaway Challenge
• Elimination Shootout (Huh?)
• 2009 NHL All-Star Game

Just 1 event that doesn't specifically involve scoring? No stickhandling competition? Rapid-fire goaltending? Nope, just score score score. The NHL is failing to capitalize on their most precious asset - violence.

So here I go again. Please please please, NHL, add a Hardest Hit Competition. Have 4 guys compete in 3 events - Open Ice, Along the Boards, and Jackass Guest checking events. First set up one of those MythBusters dummies on open ice and along the blue line and have each competitor lay into them. Give each competitor a score based on the force of their impact. For the 3rd event, we bring out the Jackass guys to promote their new DVD or whatever, then have an All-Star annihilate each. Fans can vote on who laid the best hit via text message. Average the scores and you've got a winner.

You want ratings? Promise the fans Johnny Knoxville will get vanquished on open ice by Dion Phaneuf. I can see the lead-in to SportsCenter now - a trembling Knoxville standing at center ice with Phaneuf charging full speed ahead. You wouldn't stick around to watch that?